conscientious.

So I haven't actually carried out one of my challenges since Monday, but I do feel like I am definitely more conscious of my actions. Something so little as this has been a huge growing experience for me. I am more conscious of myself as well as those around me. I feel like I am finally becoming healthy. I had a conversation with a wise woman who was talking about dealing with grief and all the terrible things of this planet. She was talking about how we have to let ourselves feel them, not to just pretend that they aren't there, and also not just dwell on it too...This concept was so foreign to me. Whenever I did allow myself to feel these things, I kind of slipped into a depression for awhile - not too long, but I definitely closed myself off to all things good for that short period of time. I felt guilty about being happy or enjoying good because I thought I was supposed to be feeling sad....It was kind of a self-induced grief, not a true genuine grief. But this week when things reminded me of my dad or when I heard heart breaking news, I let myself feel that sadness, but it didn't stay forever, and I didn't feel guilty when it left...And my happiness seems to be more genuine too. So that's the first part.

I also feel more conscious of others. Yesterday afternoon when I was driving around Nichol looking for parking, I saw this older woman roaming the parking lot. I stopped to ask her if she was lost and sure enough - she couldn't find her car. So I drove her around the hill as we looked for her car. What I did wasn't amazing, but I think that since I am trying to be very conscious of spreading love around, I was able to see a need and act on it. I also am realizing that I'm smiling a lot more to people behind the counters at stores and so on. I seem to be valuing people more. (Now if I can also be a little more patient with crazy drivers, ha!)

I don't know if I am actually making a tangible difference in this world, but it's making a difference in my own life.

Also, I have something on my heart, but I'm not quite sure how to go about it. I am really seeing a need for a girls' mentoring program at LLUC...It's a huge undertaking, and I just don't know if I could do it...but I think it would be really neat. I'm thinking of like a cross-generational thing - like collegiate mentors sr. high, sr. high mentors jr. high, and jr. high to older elementary girls... I just don't know how to get it started...And if there really is any interest, but I really can see it being a success if there is buy-in...Why do I make myself so busy?

I love autumn!

still.

So I kinda forgot about my challenges this weekend and today.

Friday I sorta did it. My challenge was to tell a child that they could change the world. I forgot about it. But I think I did empower a struggling teen girl to change her own world. I took a friend out to lunch and she laid it all out there for me of what is going on and has been going on in her life this past summer. She has made some choices that she regrets and has had a rough time getting out of that cycle. We talked about some ways of how to do that, but we were also realistic about how difficult it was going to be. It was definitely a good conversation - later on in the day she pointed out how I need to take my own advice...I kept using my stressing out as something that I'm working on as an example...and she saw me stress out!

I completely forgot to even look at my challenges for Saturday & Sunday. Monday was to be still for 10 minutes...this was tough! I got a text message within those 10 minutes, and that was really distracting to not look at it, but towards the end of the 10 minutes, I think I could have taken a nap! I definitely felt a lot better after stressing about how much needed to be done that day.

I saw my first fall leaf float to the ground tonight!

gratitude.

Today's challenge was to tell 3 people I am grateful for them and why.  I only remembered the challenge when I was alone, so I emailed all of my thank-yous.  One name popped out at me first, but I usually am always thanking this friend for being such a good one.  I thought I should pick 3 that I might not talk to that often, or might not have thanked them before.  I started to make a list of friends and realized I am a very lucky girl.  I am so grateful to have so many people in my life to thank for loving and supporting me.  I finally chose three and thought about these special three and just how important they are in my life as well as others.  All three of these people love me unconditionally - one of them is there for me through thick and thin...and she's definitely seen the "thin" me right in the "thick" of it, the second one is my "bosom buddy", we are so much alike it is crazy! but she is a better person than I could ever hope to be - she has such grace. And last but certainly not least is probably the bestest friend I could ever ask for.  Hands down.

I can learn something from each of these wonderful people in the areas of friendship. 

From #1: Always have a listening ear & be understanding of others

From #2: Laugh & Cry with your friends...but laugh more :)

From #3: Be in communication with your friends as much as possible...without being annoying...But don't expect them to respond.

Coffee.

Today's challenge was to buy the customer behind me's coffee.  It was kind of fun.  I probably wouldn't have stopped for something today, but since it was my challenge, I had to ;)  I just got a glass of iced green tea, and bought the woman in the drive thru's drinks behind me.  I also bought a pack of Starbucks Via to send to the troops.  When I had asked to pay for the drinks behind me, it shocked the barista.  She asked, "Wow, Can I ask why?"  I just replied that I was having a great day and wanted to pass it along.  Which is true.  I absolutely LOVE fieldwork.  When I walked into the SDC room this morning, Carson gave me the biggest hug.  It pretty much made my week.  I also am falling more in love with each of the kids.  This is going to be the perfect job for me! I am running my first group tomorrow!

smile.

Today's challenge was to smile at everyone I met.  At first I thought this challenge was going to be easy, but then I became kind of self conscious about it.  And it was also easy to forget.  With every smile, I got a response back, whether it be another smile, a wave, or even a few verbal "hellos".  The verbal responses were a pleasant surprise and somewhat of a positive reinforcement.  

I loved this picture of a smile...Who can look at this and not smile?

I am especially excited about tomorrow's challenge.  

random act of kindness.

Today was the first day of taking "the plunge".  I challenged myself to commit one random act of kindness.  I had forgotten about my challenge earlier this morning, but remembered on my way home for lunch.  When I got home, my mom was complaining about back pain, and I offered to give her a massage.  She readily accepted.  

As the day went on, we both looked for ways to help each other out - She tossed a load of my laundry into the wash and I offered to clean up the kitchen after dinner.  

So far this is a fun experiment.  

the plunge.

Despite being a little overwhelmed, I had a great week.  I LOVE fieldwork.  I know that I am definitely going into the right profession.  I was so excited driving out there this week.  I also had a few breaks during the week - Hayden's game & Starbucks with Michelle & Ken too!

After a stressful Friday morning that dragged into the afternoon, I had a blast at Friday Night Dinner.  I can't remember laughing that much in a long time.  

Saturday night I was reminded that staying "in" can be just as much fun as going out.  I went over to my friend Carli's to watch the end of the Yankees/Angels game with her & Nicole.  BOO YAH ANGELS!   It was nice to catch my breath in the craziness of this weekend with them.

Friday night during The Anchoring, one of my girls told me about some challenge thing they do at her school.  Every day during announcements, they present a challenge for the kids to carry out if they wish.  The challenges promotes peace on campus.  She was really excited about it and told me how she writes them in her notebook and tries to carry them out each day. I also knows that she writes down what we talk about in The Anchoring and tries to apply it to her life.  I have seen very few people earnestly try to live out their faith.  

She has inspired me to do the same.  For the next month and a half I have written out challenges for each day to carry out.  Some are silly, some are for stress relief, but most are to show kindness to those around me and to help me value this great life I live.  Each night I will try to write about my challenge for that day.  

I am really excited to see how it all unfolds and what comes of it.  So, tomorrow, I take the plunge.

music.

This week was filled with music.  I got to hear some really great live music this week with some awesome people.  On Thursday I saw State Radio and Dusty Rhodes and the River Band.  Both acts were great.  Chad gave Summer & I a shout-out! Even though it was kind of undeserved...but we will take it!  I also scored another State Radio set list! 

Saturday night I saw Brett Dennen, G. Love, and Jason Mraz.  In the middle of G. Love's set, he called out Tristan Prettyman!  I was so stoked...I kinda went a little overboard.  The show was really fun and laid back, and we had a fun group of girls.  It had been awhile since the last time I heard some live music before this week, and now I am hooked.  I think in a week or two I will hit up Hotel Cafe.

This was definitely a great week.  I am truly in love with my life.  This week I heard a definition of Happiness that I love - "Happiness is having someone to love, someone to love you, and something to look forward to."  In this moment, I am bursting with happiness.

Even though this week we found out how losing our house is definitely a reality, I still can't believe how well things are going.  Everything seems to be coming together so well.  I am falling more and more in love with my Anchoring kids each week, school is going well, and I am enjoying my friends and making new ones more than ever.  I am so excited to see how this year unfolds.  

P.S.  I loved this - On Friday night, I had my kids journal about what God was to them that day, and he simply said, God is bigger than a frown.