I collect words.

"Well I am almost 23, confused with all the lines in between.  They are dying to be read, softly spoken, simply said, so tell me, do you believe in the girl that is me?"

"And God answered me in silent reverie."

Obsession.

It's a problem belonging to so many blogs.  Luckily, the fashion/design blogs aren't a problem simply because I don't have the money.  The problem lies in the food blogs.  Lately I have obsessed over the recipes.  I just want to try ALL of them from the African Peanut Stew to the Channa Masala to the Cocoa Brownies.  It seems that is all I can think about is, "when I can have a chance to turn on the oven, or heat up the stove?  How will I adapt the recipe to be my own?"  Instead of thinking of what significance p-values and t-distributions have (statistics midterm Thursday), I have been thinking about what flavors I can add to spice up winter greens, or how to lighten up these sweet desserts.  To motivate myself to study, I planned on spending all of Thursday night baking.  But tonight, I completely caved.  I forgot about the textbooks, the stress of work, and cranked up the oven (and the music).  I finished dipping the last of the truffles and tried out SK's cocoa brownies.  (My goal for the month of February is to become a better bake.)  I don't know if I feel any less stressed, but I will definitely have something sweet to share with my friends tomorrow.

If only statistics was as much fun as my kitchen.

pasta.

What a crazy day...between jury duty, midterms, and trying to get paid (it has been 5 months, and I have yet to receive a paycheck).  Instead of just heating up leftovers (as I usually do on Monday nights), I decided to unwind by cooking.  I checked out some recipes on Allrecipes.com and after realizing that I hardly had anything in my kitchen/pantry (Not even a tomato!), I finally succumbed to pasta.  I sauteed garlic & onions in olive oil, then added canned tomatoes, tomato paste, and for added "healthiness" fresh spinach (I'm tired of salads at the moment), & salt & pepper to taste.  I garnished with gorgonzola...not sure that was the best pair because of it's strong flavor.  

I can't believe what a stress reliever something so simple as that was.  Afterward, I was able to get a couple of good hours of studying in.  And now, I have the bug.  As soon as I'm done with my midterm (and yoga) on Thursday, I'm going to spend a couple of hours baking.  I also want to start having friends over on Sundays for dinner (after Super Bowl of course)...It might be fun to do different theme nights.

On a side note, I FINALLY finished A Hundred Years of Solitude.  If only I could be as strong of a woman as Ursula. 

Call me Ruth...

This past week's Sabbath school lesson was one of my best.  I had quite a few illustrations which were all relevant, and my questions were not only relevant but thought provoking too...I could see on my kids' faces that it was sinking in.  But, as I was driving home, I thought of some other cool visual things I could have done to really drive home the point.  I thought, "if only I had more time."

So to give myself more time, I opened up the quarterly tonight to see what this week's topic was and began grasping the "power point".  This upcoming lesson is about how God's love is continually drawing us to Him.  It's actually a really neat twist - it talks about how Ruth was drawn to God through her respect and love for Naomi.  As I was brainstorming illustrations and games we could do, it hit me. I am Ruth.  I recently made a new friend who is not like anybody I have ever met before.  This person is a true follower of Christ, and yet so human.  I'm not quite sure how to convey what I am trying to say.  Anyways, after spending time with this person, I find myself wanting to have a deeper relationship with God.

Tonight was definitely a humbling experience.  I wonder if this lesson is more important for me or these kids?

I am still in awe of how God works and thankful that He still uses "Naomis".

inspired.

I have a page that's part of an ad in one of my surf mags taped up on my wall.  It has been on my wall since my freshman year at LLA.  I first ripped it out because I thought it would like neat with my collage.  It's not exactly great writing, but over the years, it has become more and more meaningful to me.  It strikes me differently almost every time I stop to read it.

The past few weeks I have been trying to write my personal statement essay for graduate school applications.  I'm not sure why, but this has been very difficult for me.  I have pored over past journals, pictures, and other writing assignments to try and come up with something significant and still after about 2 weeks, I don't have a single word written.

This morning, my poster caught my eye.  Here is what it says:

"I went to land today and walked a ways on the beach.  A bunch of kids from the village came out to hang out and walk with me.  They are the most beautiful people.  These kids have a glow in their face and a smile so pure and full of joy.

Life is what you shape it to be, shape it as you like. Love for the moment, tomorrow it will be history.

You know that feeling deep down in your gut that feels like a heart beat? It can be a lot of things, but mainly it's what you imagine or choose it to be. It can make you feel queasy & shaky & afraid & nervous energy takes over your body or you can become excited, stimulated, jumping out of your skin & full of energy & joy."

As I read this, everything fell into place.  I thought back to that single moment (waiting for Tyler to get done with work - Manny Vitug came into P.T.'s office) that forever shaped my life in ways I had never imagined and what has subsequently happened since.  It became very clear to me that God has brought me right here, right now.  He loves me, He is proud of me, and He still has so much more in store for me.

2009: The year I began growing up.

I always get a little nostalgic and pensive at the end of the year.  Sorry...because, as you can tell this little series of blogs reflect that.

As I look back on the year I realize it has been one of my favorites.  Although there were definitely some rough spots, I had many more smooth ones.  I learned SO much about myself, just by simply being honest. I believe that this year I have started growing up...I have started to come into my own.

Seasons of Lessons:

Winter - Compromising is never good when you compromise who you are and how you feel.

Spring- Be happy with your choices.  We make mistakes, but what we learn from them defines us.  Don't Settle.

Summer - Dancing = joy in motion.  Being a good friend isn't being a passive friend.

Fall - Working hard pays off.  I am not a baker, but a good "cook".  We all need breaks every once in awhile - and they don't have to be big.  I LOVE speech pathology.  It's ok that I don't want to work for the church, I am pretty sure God still loves me.

So goodbye 2009.  It was nice knowin' ya.  Hello 2010, I hope we can be friends.

2009: my year in books

This past year I rekindled my love of reading.  I have always loved reading, but I seemed to only indulge myself during breaks from school.  This year I decided to keep a book journal, and as I look back on this year, I was able to keep the habit going even when studying.

This year I wasn't able to physically travel the world, but my reading took me to many different countries, time periods, perspectives, and worlds.  This is my year in books.

January - Catcher in the Rye (loved it)

February - This Boy's Life, a memoir

                 The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe (Loved it! Can you believe I had never read it?!?)

                1984  (thoroughly enjoyed)

March - The Genesis Code (hated it)

              Prince Caspian

              Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight  (tragic, yet beautiful)

May - Uncle Tom's Cabin (Adored it!)

          Hands of My Father (memoir of a boy growing up with deaf parents - recommended if interested)

June - The Three Musketeers (Possibly favorite book of the year - fun summer read)

July - Slaughter-House Five

August - The Count of Monte Cristo (enjoyed it, but not as much as musketeers)

September - The Kite Runner (Loved it!)

                    A Thousand Splendid Suns

                   Catch-22 (I would recommend it)

                  The Poisonwood Bible  (another good one)

December - The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo  (murder mysteries aren't my thang- but it was well written)

                   The Painter from Shanghai

I read so many good ones this year, it's hard to pick a favorite....

I looked through the list of 1001 books you should read before you die, and I had only read 23 of them.  My only "New Years Resolution" is to up that number, if only by 1 in this next year.

Does anyone have any suggestions for reading this next year?